Boundless Love Project

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Reframing Problems

Photo Credit: Hans-Peter Gauster

This training was given at the Boundless Love Project’s weekly group meditation (now virtual due to the pandemic) on 3.31.2020. We make it available here in audio, video, or article format for your convenience. This talk is part of The Wisdom of Peace Pilgrim training series.

BEFORE YOU START: Please grab a piece of paper and pen or pencil. If you have the book, Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Times in Her Own Words, get that as well. (If you don’t have her book, please order a free copy of it here). Thank you.

Audio Version

We invite you to listen to the Investigating Emptiness Meditation that was presented before the talk.

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Reframing Problems Freeman

Video Version

Fast forward the video to 8:00 for the start of the virtual meeting.

See this content in the original post

Article Version: Reframing Problems

The COVID-19 pandemic has brought a lot of uncertainty and dramatic change to our lives. We may be dealing with the loss of a friend or family member who has died from COVID-19. We may be dealing with sick friends and family members and trying to navigate a chaotic health-care system that is overwhelmed and under-resourced. We may have lost our source of income, and be unable to pay our bills or buy our groceries. We may be needing to learn new skills to allow technology to keep us connected and able to do our jobs. We may be a first responder trying to help people without the personal protective equipment necessary to keep ourselves safe. In these and an infinite number of ways, we are all experiencing dramatic change in our lives. 

All of this change can be looked at in various ways. One way to look at it all is as a "problem." Given the negativity-bias of the mind, this is the mind's tendency. In all this change it sees threats and danger, and responds with fear, anxiety, anger, and blame. This is one way to frame the issue, and if you desire to live in constant fear, anxiety, anger and blame, then you are free to continue in this manner. 

However, this is not the only option we have available for how to look at these "problems." 

When Responded to Correctly, Problems Help Us Grow Spiritually

In this week's talk, we are going to look at how Peace Pilgrim understands problems. If you have your copy of Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Works in Her Own Words, you can join me on the last paragraph of page 9.

There's the whole matter of having a meaningful attitude toward the problems that life may set before you. If only you could see the whole picture, if you knew the whole story, you would realize that no problem ever comes to you that does not have a purpose in your life, that cannot contribute to your inner growth. When you perceive this, you will recognize that problems are opportunities in disguise. If you did not face problems, you would just drift through life. It is through solving problems in accordance with the highest light we have that inner growth is attained. (pp. 9-10).

 Let's stop here and reflect a moment. 

She says problems exist to serve us, to teach us, to help us to grow. Within every problem is an opportunity. Peace Pilgrim wisely reframes problems as opportunities to deepen our spiritual growth. 

If every time we see a "problem" we remind ourselves it is an "opportunity" it helps us over-rider our negativity bias with a nonreactive presence. With this nonreactive presence, we actively look for how this situations can benefit all life, cultivate beautiful qualities, and help me to grow spiritually or otherwise. 

Having appreciated the situation, we then seek to respond skillfully with an open, connected, and loving heart. This is what she means when she says, "It is through solving problems in accordance with the highest light we have that inner growth is attained" (p. 9). When we relate to these challenging opportunities from a place of love, kindness, and compassion, we solve them according to the highest light we have. 

The more we do this, the more able we become to let go of the fear-response, the blame-response, the anger-response, and all of the other ego-based ways of responding. In this way, even more "light" comes to us making our "highest light" even higher. 

To summarize, we reframe problems as opportunities. This involves consciously looking to see how challenges serve and benefit us by helping us to spiritually grow. By reframing all problems as opportunities, the result is we no longer have any problems. Then our life becomes a series of blessing here to help us deepen our persistence, courage, strength, and our love, compassion, mercy, and kindness for each other. 

Collective Problems Require Collective Solutions

Let's continue on with the reading near the top of page 10:

Now, collective problems must be solved by us collectively, and no one finds inner peace who avoids doing his or her share in the solving of collective problems, like world disarmament and world peace. So let us always think about these problems together and talk about them together, and collectively work toward their solutions (p. 10).

Collective problems, like the pandemic, require collective solutions. Every day, we see our communities, states, country, and world collectively respond to COVID-19. Some of the world leaders and our neighbors respond with fear, anxiety, hatred, and blame; while others respond with compassion and kindness.

Because the pandemic is a collective problem, it requires a collective solution. All of us have been asked to participate in the solution to slow the spread of the disease and flatten the curve. Those of us who are not essential workers, are encouraged to shelter in place. Essential workers continue to work, but hopefully make changes to socially isolate from other people while they work, or wear appropriate personal protective equipment suitable for the risks their job entails. 

The more we shelter in place and socially distance, the more we will flatten the curve and help prevent over-running our hospitals with sick people in need of beds, care, and ventilators. If we flatten the curve, maybe only 1% of those infected will die. But if we overrun our health care system, that percentage could soar to 5 or more percent of those infected dying. 

So we shelter in place and socially distance. Yet this creates other challenges for us, which we will return to in a minute. 

Problems Push Us Towards Harmony

Before we do that, Peace Pilgrim encourages us to look at problems as opportunities for spiritual growth, but in what way do we grow? On page 141, she says: 

Problems come when we live our lives out of harmony with divine purpose--they come to push us toward harmony (p.141).

Problems push us towards harmony with divine purpose. 

Last week, I shared with you these universal, or divine, laws that People Pilgrim named that we need to live in harmony with. As a quick refresher, they are:

• Only goodness can overcome evil.

• Only skillful means can create skillful ends.

• Unskillful actions not only hurt others, but harm ourselves.

• To be joyful, our motives must be loving and kind, and we must serve others through our actions.

She says that when we obey these laws, we find peace and joy. When we ignore them, we suffer. All suffering is here to help encourage us to follow these laws of love.

You Can Do It

Of course, the problems we face can feel overwhelming at times. But Peace Pilgrim encourages us to take-heart. On page 60, she writes:

It is through solving problems correctly that we grow spiritually. We are never given a burden unless we have the capacity to overcome it. If a great problem is set before you, this merely indicates that you have the great inner strength to solve a great problem. There is never really anything to be discouraged about, because difficulties are opportunities for inner growth, and the greater the difficulty the greater the opportunity for growth (p. 60).

If we are given a great problem, it is because we have the great inner strength to solve it. Some of us might need to experiment with taking this idea on faith. Others of us, who have seen this play out in our life, can have more confidence in these words. Either way, draw on that power to serve you. 

Journaling Activity

Please grab your journal and a pen or pencil now. Peace Pilgrim tells us that problems are here to help us spiritually grow and mature, and to push us to live in harmony with the universal laws of love. So let's contemplate how the problems we face help us do just that. We will go through some together.

Concern Over Material Things

The first problem we will consider, we will call "concern over material things." What are your concerns about material things? 

The pandemic may have caused us to lose some or all of our income. Maybe we have lost our job and can't pay our rent, mortgage, or other bills. Maybe we are unable to buy the food, sanitation, and paper products we want at the store or online. Maybe we are a front-line worker who has inadequate or severely limited personal protective equipment available. All of these things can fall under this umbrella of concern over material things.

Gently reflect on what concerns over material things have been real for you in your life recently. Get specific.

Once you have that, create a list of answers to the following questions: How does this problem help me grow spiritually or live more in harmony with the universal laws of love? What beautiful qualities does this problem help me develop? How might this problem benefit me, or serve as an opportunity that I can take advantage of? 

Take a few minutes on your own and try to come up with at least five possible answers. 

• • •

Once you complete a nice list, check in with your heart space. Do awareness of the opportunities affect how your heart relates to the problem? Does it help you feel more grounded, more present, more resourceful, or something else? Just notice that, even if it is only a slight change. 

Fear of Death or Illness for Self or Others

Now that our creative mind is warmed up, let's move on to a more challenging problem: fear of bodily illness or death, for ourselves, and for our loved ones. Death is a topic that many of us shy away from, but it is an inevitable reality of life. 

If you are willing, and it feels safe, I invite you to mindfully and gently reflect on how these concerns about death and illness have been showing up in your life lately so you are clear on the specifics. 

Once you know the specifics, kindly spend a few minutes considering what are the spiritual lessons that death and illness are here to teach us? What possible benefits are there to the fact that bodily death and illness is an inevitability for us all? What beautiful qualities and abilities does knowing that death awaits us all help us to develop? 

Again, take a few minutes to generate your own answers, and try to come up with at least five responses. Be creative.

• • •

Once you have five or more responses, gently notice if the awareness of these opportunities changes the emotional tone of how your heart responds to this problem? Is there more peace, more love, more ease, more compassion, or something else? Even if it only slightly changes your heart's response, notice that. 

What Other Issues Are Coming Up for You

Finally, if it feels safe, and you are willing to do so, let's mindfully reflect on what other problems are most pressing and urgent for you now. Generate a short list of what problems occupy your mind and cause the most emotional upheaval in your life.

Once you generate a list, pick one on that list to contemplate. If you feel capable and courageous, and it feels safe to do so, you can take the most challenging problem on your list. If you are new to mindfulness, then choose the easiest problem on the list, or if your inner wisdom tells you to skip this activity for now, then follow that inner wisdom. 

If you have chosen a problem from that list, calmly answer the following questions about it: How does this problem help me grow spiritually or live more in harmony with the universal laws of love? What beautiful qualities does this problem help me develop? How might this problem benefit me, or serve as an opportunity that I can take advantage of? 

Take a few minutes to generate your own answers, and try to come up with at least five responses. Be imaginative and inventive. 

• • •

Again, once you have generated your list, and if you feel comfortable doing so, drop your awareness into your heart space. Has there been any shift in your relationship to the problem? In what way? Does this seem like a more skillful or less skillful state to respond to this problem wisely? 

For those of you who chose to do the exercise, I hope you found it to be helpful and insightful. If you are curious as to how other people answered these questions, I have included some of their responses to the problems we address, and a few others, after the article. 

Summary

Unless we train our mind to do otherwise, the mind with its negativity-bias will look at everything in the world as a threat, a problem, and a danger. This will result in a life full of fear, anger, greed, and misery. These powerful emotions generated by these states will spur us to act out in ways that harm ourselves and others, further compounding our misery. 

Thankfully, we have a choice. If we want to stay grounded in our inner love, then we need to follow Peace Pilgrim's example of consciously choosing to see the good, the beautiful, and the opportunity for spiritual growth within all circumstances, especially in our problems. The more we do this, the more we overwrite the negativity-bias of the mind, and replace it with inner peace, wisdom, and love.  

The more we live in communion with our inner love, the more peace, ease, compassion, and joy we feel. The more we live in communion with our inner love, the less reactive we become to our changing circumstances. The more we live in communion with our inner love, the better we become at responding to the vicissitudes of life skillfully, with wisdom and love. 

By living skillfully, we create and promote harmony within ourselves, and with our friends, family, neighbors, all beings, and all life that surrounds us.

Those are your choices: on one hand, there is a life of fear, hatred, greed and suffering for all. On the other hand, there is a life of peace, love, truth, service, and harmony. Now, it is your decision as to which path you choose to take. ;) 

The Number One World Problem

I end tonight's talk with Peace Pilgrim's answer to the question, In your opinion, what is the number one world problem?

Now, knowing her pilgrimage is for world peace, you might expect her to answer the nuclear arms race or the military-industrial complex. That would be a very reasonable assumption. But she sees these things as the symptom of an underlying problem which we all need to address. Here is how she answered the question, what is the number one world problem?:

The number one world problem is [spiritual] immaturity. We choose to live at a small fraction of our real potential. In our immaturity we are greedy: some grab more than their share so that others starve. In our immaturity we are fearful: we build up armaments against one another, resulting in war. If we work on world problems, we usually work at the level of symptom. I have chosen to work primarily at the level of removing cause (p. 141). 

Peace Pilgrim seeks to remove the root causes of the violence in our culture: greed, fear, and falsehood. That's why she urges everyone to "overcome evil with good, and falsehood with truth, and hatred with love" (p. 26). 

If Peace Pilgrim was alive today, she may encourage us to use the problems that COVID-19 brings us to help us open our heart, let go of our greed and fear, shed our falsehoods, embrace our power, and do what we can to lovingly and safely serve others. Be well.

END

Possible Answers to the Above Questions

We now share with you some of the answers to the above questions that other people came up with. We do this to inspire your own creativity so you can better see the opportunity within the problem. 

Of course, different circumstances often teach different lessons, so some of these possible answers may not apply to you or make not make sense given your situation. Please ignore those answers that do not apply to your situation, and any that rub you the wrong way as they were meant for people in different circumstances. Thank you! 

Some Opportunities That Material Problems Provide Us

• Reminds us to concentrate on spiritual things instead of material things.

• Forces us to make a needed changes.

• Pushes us to live our dreams .

• Helps us be more flexible and responsive.

• Develops compassion and empathy for those in need.

Some Opportunities That Death and Illness Provide Us

• Health problems remind us that we are not the transient body, we are the indestructible essence that activates the body.

• Reminds us of our priorities to truth, love, and service.

• Gives us urgency to show our love to those we care about.

• Inspires us to love everyone all of the time, because we never know when we will see them again. 

• Reminds us of the truth that all forms change and die, so best to live unattached to any form.

Some Opportunities That Loneliness, Isolation, and Boredom Provide Us

• Encourages us to live in the present moment.

• Develops flexibility, patience, and love.

• Encourages me to deepen my relationship with all the life and beauty that surrounds me.

• Helps me not take my relationships for granted.

• I'm finally reading the books I wanted to read.

• I have plenty of time to meditate now. 

Some Opportunities That Fears and Worries About the Future Provide Us

• Encourages us to live in the present moment.

• Shows us the truth that worry is a waste of energy and time and serves no one.

• Helps me let go of perfectionism.

• Encourages me to relate to things with less clinging.

• Encourages me to be more trusting in life and love.

• • • •

Thank you for reading this article. Please join us at our virtual meetings every Tuesday at 6:15 pm (Central Standard Time) on our Facebook page as we continue with this series: The Wisdom of Peace Pilgrim. And, if you haven’t already, be sure to order a free copy of Peace Pilgrim’s book, Peace Pilgrim: Her Life and Times in Her Own Words, and bring it with you to our virtual meeting. Thank you.

Wishing you boundless love, peace, wisdom, and joy! Understanding God (Love)